Question:

I need help!! My husband is the soldier divorcing me and I can't seem to get ANY military help helping me to understand my military rights and what I am entitled too. Everyone keeps passing me along. I have a civilian lawyer who also doesn't understand the military items like SBP, how to word the pension, or figure out how to establish what I would get from his retirement. Please please help me. A retired military man had once said he would help me but now he won't answer my emails. I have heard the military is for the family but I am not experiencing that at all. Need help ASAP

Jim's Reply:

If the lawyer you're paying to help you isn't helping, you need a new lawyer. Think about it for a minute...you're giving money to a person to help yet you're writing to a total stranger for answers.

I can't help you and neither can anyone else and that's why you have a lawyer. 

Divorce is not a military action, it is a civilian process and has nothing to do with the military. There is no "military help". The military doesn't marry you, there are no military wedding licenses...those are all issued by a state and the state is responsible for divorce too. 

Your lament regarding military being about family is interesting. You're divorcing so you aren't a part of that family any more...you've become an outsider. You don't have any "military rights" as you aren't in the military, you were a dependent.

In the end I have a feeling your lawyer is likely giving you good advice. You should listen closely to that person or find a new lawyer.

• PS from StatesideLegaL;  Military One Source has some detailed information on divorce and military benefits here which may help as you work with your lawyer.