Question:

My Dad receives VA disability compensation at the married rate. My Mom argues with him that the VA gives him the extra amount for her, and that he is supposed to give it to her each month. The VA originally and mistakenly approved his claim at the single rate. After sending the VA proof of marriage, they updated his disability compensation to the married rate. They also sent a letter explaining the correction, and the increased amount of disability for being married, which my Mom interprets as "her money" that my Dad should give to her each month. I had found an internet article some time ago, stating the reasons why the extra "married amount" is not money the VA is giving to the spouse, but money for the veteran because they are married. They are elderly and I'm trying to put this to rest to stop the bickering. I would sincerely appreciate it if you could offer an explanation, a link from the VA, or any type of justification I can show to my Mom to prove the VA did not send that letter to tell my Dad he has to give the the "married portion" of his disability each mont

Jim's Reply:

While I have doubts you'll stop the bickering, you're correct that a veteran's monthly VA money belongs to the veteran. The veteran earned it by service to our country. The veteran is assumed responsible to use the money to provide for himself and his or her family. If VA had meant to provide any portion of that to someone else, they'd send it directly to them...I think that says it all right there. The simplest solution is for him to gift her that small amount of cash every month...he'd be a hero, she may enjoy her win and you'd get some rest.