Question:

Please, no judgments. We currently live in Texas. My current fiancee is a disabled combat veteran who was medically retired. He has been re-evaluated and will be going up from 90% to 100% shortly. He married a German woman during a deployment, then they divorced after three years of marriage. It wasn't a hard divorce, they both recognized that they had simply fallen out of love. There were no harsh statements or revenge or any of that. In fact, I've talked to her a couple of times throughout our relationship. They had a child together during the marriage. She never went after him for child support because she didn't need it, her words not mine when we last spoke about two years ago and she was adamant about it. She's remarried. She's a German citizen and so is their child, he barely speaks any English. We've talked about having him over here in Texas for summer visits when he gets older. He's almost old enough to fly by himself now but suddenly everything has changed...About a week ago we received this letter from the Texas attorney general office stating that he owes nearly twenty thousand dollars in child support payments. Wow... He can't work. He makes just enough to support himself. He has several major surgeries coming and he hasn't even hit his forties yet. The letter states that if he does not make the payment, in full, that legal action will be taken by a date in December.  So, they're going to jail a man who can bearly walk a block without passing out with a letter that's so out of the blue it's enough to give me a heart attack!?  I get it, he owes child support. However, how can he ever get custody of a child who was born and lives overseas? He can't even control the amount of time that he gets to see his child on skype!  And how much can they take if he owes back child support? I don't make enough to support both of us. He's going to need around the clock care after his surgeries until he recovers. Even if I applied to be his caregiver it wouldn't be enough to support us both.  What can we do? Anything? She hasn't let him see his child in about a year. She won't even talk to him.  Could this letter be a hoax or scam?

Jim's Reply:

The letter is probably authentic. When we are responsible for the birth of a child, we are legally and morally responsible for their care until such time as they reach the age that they are responsible for themselves. No judgments, just as you ask...but the truth is just that no matter your perspective. How and why the judgement against him happened isn't clear but now that it has happened he needs a lawyer. No amount of wondering how and why is going to help, the courts are very methodical about how child support obligations are ordered and his situation, both financial and his physical health, will be evaluated.

In the end he's going to need a lawyer, one who is familiar with divorce law and veterans law. These veterans lawyers are in Dallas and will be happy to chat with you